What is a friend? Webster's online dictionary lists several definitions of the word "friend,". "One who entertains for another such sentiments of esteem, respect and affection that he seeks his society and welfare; a wellwisher; an intimate associate; sometimes, an attendant. Want gives to know the flatterer from the friend" - Dryden
"A friend that sticketh closer than a brother." Prov. xvii. 24
The second definition listed is this, "One not inimical or hostile; one not a foe or enemy; also, one of the same nation, party, kin, etc., whose friendly feelings may be assumed. The word is sometimes used as a term of friendly address. - Friend, how calmest you in hither?"
- Matt. xxii. 24.
The WorldNet Dictionary also lists several definitions for the word "friend," they resemble those from Webster, but are simplified a bit. "Friend- a person you know well and regard with affection and trust; "he was my best friend at the university." I am not going to list every single definition found. These are all very generic definitions, anyway. They "kinda sort of " resemble MY definition of "friend, " if we're not taking into consideration the emotions/feelings of friendship or the different "stages."
So, what is MY definition of the word "friend?" First of all, my friends are all real people not just a word that I attach a generic definition too; each uniquely, wonderfully different, but also very similar...my friends are kind and loving people. We all have some things in common; we also have our differences and that is really OK.
I have friends that I stay in touch with via e mail or Facebook from my "school girl" days and from our earlier years as a young, married, military family. We may not "hang out," share secrets, or stay in constant contact, but I still consider them my friends and hold them close to my heart and always will. These friends would listen to all of my "boy problems," or listen and sing along with my newest cassette tape. Have sleep overs and stay up all night giggling, crying, plotting how to make our latest crush notice us. They helped me through hard times, helped me adapt to new situations; offered care when I felt alone in a new country with my new husband and baby... I have formed memories with these friends and am grateful to each one for helping to mold me into who I have become.
I have friends that I've met through the years who became somewhat "toxic" to me and to my life, values, beliefs. These are friends who, for a time were so close to me, helped me and I helped them, but for whatever reason, I had to distance myself from the friendship. My well being and the well being of my family will always come first, so sometimes walking away is the best option. This does not mean that I value these friendships less, most of them I care for still; some of them helped me when I was lonely, sad, supported me; yes, these friends will always hold a place in my heart, even if we do not see each other or speak anymore, I am very thankful for each one of these friends.
I have friends that for whatever reason, have drifted away. Maybe there is a reason, maybe there isn't. Maybe life just got in the way of staying in touch? I miss some of these relationships. Some I don't. Still, I am thankful for the time I had these friends and the memories made, big and small.
And then there are the friends who feel like so much more....like family. I have a small handful of these friends. These are the friends who took me (and me little family) in and treated me like part of their "family." They accepted me for who I am. I've been to birthdays, graduations and weddings with these friends. I have celebrated births and mourned losses with these friends. We've laughed, cried, hugged, danced, listened, shared secrets....we have helped each other when in tough situations, been genuinely happy for one another when something good happens to the other...we have loved one another through thick and thin. These are my "forever friends." These are the friends that, no matter how far apart we are, I know that I will never be without them. I know that I can always count on a friendly note, e mail, card, silly or encouraging post on Facebook, kind gesture....oh I can not even list everything. I do not have the words for these friends. I love them all with my whole heart, I cherish their friendships, I care for them and their families, I hurt for them when something bad or sad happens or if they are going through a tough time. I'm thankful to them for being there for me through thick and thin. I look forward to each email, Facebook message, online chat, handwritten letter or card. And I love how through the years, we have managed to stay in touch, offer support and love, no matter how many miles come between us.
I think we all have these types of friends in our lives. Some brought in for a reason, some for a season.
They help make us the people we are today. In my case, I'm very happy with who I am because of my friends. Each person, each friend, has been a blessing.
Sounds like I'm done, right? Wrong! We didn't discuss the "best friend," "bestie," "BFF." You get the picture. You may have one, or a few. What is the definition of "best friend?" I consulted Siri on my iPhone. The one definition that she gave me is this "the friend that is closest to you." Hmmmm doesn't seem adequate, does it? We will all have our own, personalized definition for our best friends. Here's mine....
My best friend is not someone that I knew as a child, but we did "grow up" a bit together. We met later in life, already had our husbands and babies, beliefs and traditions.... We met and just kind of "clicked." We bonded over a hobby that we both enjoyed, then started doing things outside the box (literally, the box of papers, stickers, glue and scissors....scrapbook 'must haves.'). Our friendship grew and grew. Soon, our husbands were friends, our kids got along really well...it was great! I'm not sure when it happened, but I grew to truly love this friend and her family. We are alike and different. We agree on a lot of things and disagree, that is ok. I won't judge her and she won't judge me. The qualities that really matter are there. She has all of the qualities as described above (ummmm well, I wouldn't say she is in the "toxic" friend category) and so much more! Her family is my family; only I got to choose them and they chose me (us). How awesome is that?! I believe that no matter where life takes us, we will always be friends. Be there to laugh and love, listen and support..... People change. Relationships change. This is life, change is good; we learn and grow. I think this will make our bond stronger. We may still get mad at each other from time to time. I may hurt her or she may hurt me. These things will not be intentional, if they happen at all. We will forgive and continue loving one another. I know that I can always count on her for a laugh, a smile, a shoulder, a hug....no matter what. I love that I can just be "me" with her, and she loves me anyway. There is not one word that I know of to describe the bond, the love that I have for my best friend...its a feeling. It's just there. It does not need a definition.
Yes, I am truly blessed! I have all sorts of friends and I am forever grateful to each and every one of them for being in my life.
If you are reading this and we are friends, or have been friends at one time, know that I cherish YOU for being in my life, no matter the reason or season...YOU chose me and YOU had an impact on my life and I thank YOU.
XXOO
